Tuesday, July 10, 2012

What's Your Fantasy.. Date

This week we travel to Curacao for the fantasy dates. The show opens with Emily walking along the beach and rehashing all the details about the guys - which is remarkably similar to last week except without Littlefoot. I am not sure how the producers get enough footage for these montages. Emily writes "Emily + ?" in the sand and it is washed away. I hope this isn't a metaphor that Em doesn't pick anyone at the end. ABC, you would be so smart if it was. 

Sean is the first fantasy date. Emily has reservations about Sean, because he hasn't said "I love you". Yep, you should be worried about a guy who hasn't fake said "I LUV U" to win a game after 4 dates. 
The couple goes for a helicopter ride. Emily keeps giving Sean the fake wide eyed "yea this is so much fun" look and then looking incredibly bored while staring out the window. She announces with about as much enthusiasm as I would about getting out of bed before 7 to take a morning shower that they will be spending the day on a private island. 
I'm having the MOST fun. 
The couple heads to the beach where Emily uses her spidey sense to coax an "I love you from Sean". He doesn't bite and she gets more peeved, because at no time in her life has a guy denied her affection. 
Tell me you love me Sean
Sean breaks the tension by acknowledging the snorkeling gear and says they should go for a dip. Just another guy weaseling out of expressing his feelings.
They dine on the beach where Sean produces a letter he wrote - what is with the letter writing and the reading aloud? I really hope there aren't any men out there thinking that girls are into this sort of thing. This time there is a spin to the letter though, and Sean writes his letter to Ricki. Emily and touched and Sean coughs up an "I love you" like he is lying. Which of course he is. 
Emily offers each of the guys the fantasy date card knowing she is going to make a grand speech about being a role model and how they shouldn't spend the night together. Basically Emily is a huge tease. Instead, she takes Sean to her suite where they spend some time in the hot tub. Emily's inflated fake boobs bob about the water. 
Emily begins her obligatory "he is so hot" of the episode.
Jef with one F is up next. Emily still whines about his last girlfriend that got dumped because his family didn't like her. She feels like she must find out if they approve of her. 
When she meets up with One F, Emily says the best way to see Curacao is on the water, which is exactly what she said about seeing it from the helicopter. They head off to a boat for the afternoon and do some making out. 
As they head towards their private island, Jef with one F drops the best line of the season: "the sun is setting here in Curacao, but for me and Emily, a whole life is starting"
Distracted boat driving

They frolic on the beach and do some more making out. Before dinner, as if reading from a book, Jef with one F says "the only thing I don't know about Emily is what life is like with Ricki around her". Something tells me there are a few more things you don't know about Emily, Jef-y.

They have a dream dinner with Emily answering all of Jef's questions. When the Fantasy Date card comes, One F is the one to play hard to get and reverse psychology's Emily, and it is awesome. He says that because his Morman parents will be watching, he doesn't think he should stay the night. To which Emily heard that he wants to respect her. In her interview, Emily is miffed, because she is the one who can tease the guys, not the other way around. They still go back to her suite and make out for a bit. 
Arie is the final date, and Emily is really excited to see him because he is so hot. 
They go swimming with the dolphins. Their conversation throughout the date and dinner is so boring I had to flip to Bravo. Throughout the course of their date, Emily calls Arie "so good looking" about 12 times. Glad she is choosing wisely for her daughter. 
Arie is a really aggressive kisser. I think he might be more comfortable in the back alleys. 
At dinner, Emily doesn't even offer the fantasy card to Arie, because she can't trust herself to say no, and again calls him hot. They make out some more. 
Before the rose ceremony, we  see Emily walking alone though the streets looking pensive. She is distraught that she will break some one's heart. 
The Phoney Pony is back.
Chris lets Emily know that each of the guys recorded a video message. It is my worst nightmare brought to life. Their videos are so awkward. Emily stares at the videos and weeps trying to make her decision. 
"Emily, we chased pirates in Croatia and played with puppets in Prague."
Emily decided to send Sean home. I'm not surprised, and he didn't seem very shocked either. Emily pulled him aside, wanting him to profess his love for her and get upset. She keeps asking his what he is feeling and sniffling like she is forcing herself to cry. Sean didn't take the bait, and I like him for that. He is working on being cast as the next bachelor. 
Next week is the big week! Emily gets engaged until the we see them break up on the cover of the magazine. 

No comments:

Post a Comment