There Are No Words

This is love

Wow, so that was the culmination of 21 hours(!!) of my life. When I put it that way, I feel really depressed. 

I really wish I had a better final recap for you about Emily's journey to a 3rd broken engagement, but this episode was so bad I couldn't even make it to the Final Rose show. I am not sure if they felt a ton of pressure to drag it out, so they chose to splice in the live studio audience or if that was something hip and young the producers thought people might like, but it felt very Real World/Road Rules challenge recap to me. You're better than that Chris Harrison.

So, for those of you who don't watch (call me, I've got a lot more free time now), in this episode, we finally get to meet the man who Ricki will grow attached to, and then leave her slighted and with a laundry bag full of daddy issues. 

The men are still in Curacao and they get to meet Emily's family: Her mom, dad, sister in law, and brother who plays a guy who throws kids in lockers in Texas football movies. 

Both guys charm the pants of Emily's parents, and they give her no help in deciding, so she is left to decide for herself - which she is not pleased about. Emily would feels most comfortable when other people make life decisions for her.

One F is first up for the solo date, and Emily has such a great time that she decides to introduce him to Ricki. They swim around the pool (Emily won't get her hair wet), and Jef with one F does his standard compliment for our gender. "She is such an incredible (child). So smart, funny, inventive, creative." Emily is dazzled and says this is what real life feels like - yep, real life is swimming in a pool in Curacao with all your meals made for you and a $300,000 wardrobe budget. 

Emily feels such a connection with Jef with one F that she decides she doesn't even need to go on a date with Arie. She is going to dump him a day early. Which makes me feel like Arie got slighted, because I have a feeling that she would have chosen whoever she got to see play with Ricki - we all know she wasn't swayed by Jef's "gift": a book on Curacao. Lame Jef. 

Arie arrives and ABC forces him to make a love potion with a Curacao voodoo queen. It seems really mean, because we all know he about to be dumped, and here he is having to pretend like he cares that hibiscus is for fertility. Emily arrives and bursts into tears. Arie caught totally off guard and then spends the next 10 minutes in an SUV telling us he was caught off guard. 

 After she sends Arie off, Emily goes and cries in a park with a chain link fence around it. 

The crowd is so distraught by Arie's early exit. It was the highlight of the episode for me.  

 

 Chris then talks to former Bachelor contestants to fill air time. I recognize 1 of the former contestants. This guy thinks he is really important, and really proud to be on Bachelor Pad. He is totally the Tonya of the Bachelor franchise. 

And we can see that these people are amateurs. A pro would never have a candid shot like this:

 

 So, with Arie out of the picture, Jef could propose to Emily. Ricki joined them moments after, and he got a glimpse into his future as a third wheel.