Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Goodbye, Aaron/Kyle

Backstreet's Back AL-RIGHT!
Will someone please explain to me how Emily could give Stevie O'Shea and Prince Tony Charming roses over Aaron and Kyle. Even though I thought they were the same person until Aaron wore his sexy teacher glasses, I'd take the twins over the annoying trolls any day. But, I'll rewind a bit back to the beginning...
The first date box arrives, and Ryan, who will now call Jerry Maguire because of his heinous sports agent suits, gets the first one-on-one date. The duo bakes cookies at Emily's house, because this is a totally normal first date activity. Ryan passed Emily's fierce cookie test. Emily then runs orange slices by Ricki's soccer game, but asks Jerry Maguire to stay in the car - why this snippet was included, I have no idea. ABC, we get it - Ricki is Emily's TOP priority. Emily rewards Jerry for being so patient while she passed out citrus, and takes him out to a fancy dinner where they are serenaded by Emily's "favorite band" Gloriana. Something tells me ABC got a good rate on featuring Gloriana, because not only were they a wanna be Lady Antebellum (as if the original isn't bad enough), but no one has ever heard of them. The dancing scene was made even more awkward by the elevated stage in the middle of a crowd of Charlotte pre-teens taking camera phone videos of the couple. I found one of these videos on You Tube. It's pretty incredible to see the pre-editing dance scene:

Jerry wins Emily's heart and earns himself a rose and a trip to the next round.
The group date box arrives at the house, and the guys are putting on a show with the Muppets to support Emily's wing of the pediatric ER. Stevie O'Shea wore the most offensive outfit and hat - that was turned sideways for the entire episode (see picture at the top). He should have been sent home for this alone. The performance started with a dance sequence in which Emily sort of bounced a knee with no rhythm at all. I never thought someone would make me look like a good a dancer, but Emily just may be able to do that. We can add 'no groove' to 'dumb as rocks' on her character traits. The producers this season have a sick sense of humor. Charlie with the brain injury was initially set up to do a stand up act until he had a panic attack just thinking about it. He went to talk to Emily about how he is not prepared for this since he is still regaining his ability to talk. So, instead of doing a planned stand up act, the producers blind side him and have him do an unscripted interview with Miss Piggy. It was heart wrenching. At the cast party, Emily told Little Foot that she thinks he is "so good looking". I have lost all respect for her taste in men. Thankfully, she wised up and gave the rose to Jef with one F, but not after dancing with Stevie O'Shea who's gelled hair was so bad, I guess I see why he had that hat on. (he also had his standard complaint about Mr. Luxury coming to talk to Emily)
Nerds on Stage

The final date box comes in, and it is for Dawson Leary who is "excited" and "pumped" and thinks it is "awesome". Emily meets him at the airport where they take a jet to the Greenbrier. This is actually a pretty cool date. I've always wanted to go to the Greenbrier. Sadly, Emily didn't feel the sparks for Dawson when he was talking about film-making, Jen Lindy, and his creek, so Dawson got the boot. I'm actually pretty surprised. I thought he would be around for much longer.
Not enough to save you Dawson

At the cocktail party before the rose ceremony, Jerry Maguire commits the ultimate Bachelor sin by taking Emily's time when he already has a rose. Prince Charming with his weasel nose and Stevie O'Shea whine about it... of course. Jerry Maguire has written Emily a 7-page letter that he makes her read aloud. As if this isn't bad enough, Prince Charming is waiting in the wings hyperventilating waiting for his turn to talk to Emily. When he finally gets his sit-down with Emily, PC pimps out his 5 year old son because it worked so well for Doug. Emily didn't seem as touched since PC didn't have a letter from said son. I thought this was a sign he was going home, but alas the producers made her keep him around for house drama - or tears if the scenes from the next are to be believed.
In the end, we say goodbye to Aaron and Kyle - and I question Emily's judgement or think the producers are really mean.

Next week it looks like some baby mama drama is about to hit the fan. I can't wait!

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