Monday, February 13, 2012

Grammy Fashion

First off, I'd like to dedicate this post to Whitney Houston. RIP Whit. Your 80's dance moves and pop perfection will continue to be an inspiration in my life.

The Grammy's are a hard award show to critique fashion-wise. Most of the people are trying so hard to be edgy, the country stars are always too rhinestone-encrusted, and then there are always the Lady Gagas and Nicki Minajs who wear a costume and call it fashion. This year when going through the looks, I noticed more Victoria's Secret models and C-List actors than musicians at this event. Did everyone finally realize that the Grammy's are a waste of time?

The Best Dressed: Gentlemen, take a card from Booker T's deck. THIS is how Grammy fashion is done.

Booker T. Jones is all smiles on Grammy night.
Best Hair/Makeup/Accessories: Rihanna looked beachy and sexy in Armani. Yes, the plunge is trying too hard, but she manages to pull it off. I like that her hair and accessories are relaxed and the skirt is long - and doesn't have a Lea Michelle slit up to her lady bits.

Music's big night is also one of fashion's biggest. What were the stars wearing at the 2012 Grammy's? BEST DRESSED: Rihanna says she wanted a Grammy look that was 'simple', 'sexy,' and 'gangster.' The songstress and Armani teamed up to create just that look, which made jaws drop on the red carpet. -- BY ROSANNE SALVATORE 

Best Backside: Carrie Underwood in Gomez-Gracia is pretty enough. It's a little too mature for her from the front, and but the back has all the party I need.
Shock and Awe: Some stars wear their costumes just for the media attention. Nicki Minaj brought her boyfriend, John Paul. It was a most blessed event.

WORST DRESSED:  Nicki Minaj gets the top honor for creativity, but this religiously themed dress does nothing for her body. Her cloak is Versace, as for her Pope look-a-like - no one's sure yet.

Worst Use of a Slip: Looks like Jean Paul Gaultier was too busy hurling racial slurs to finish the lining on Fergie's orange atrocity. If my underwear was showing, I would have picked something prettier than SPANX.

BEST DRESSED: The Grammy's are about making heads turn and Fergie's orange lace Jean Paul Gaultier dress did just that. The granny panties are, however, questionable.

The Good, the Bad, and the Naked: Adam Levine slammed the limo door on model Model Anne V's dress and ripped half of it off. She figured she had great legs and could pull it off, but the rest of us beg to differ. At least her man looked dapper - a little board room , but it is better than jeans...

WORST DRESSED: She may be a gorgeous model, but Anne V proves that no one can pull off a loincloth-inspired dress on the red carpet. 
Adam Levine takes a second away from girlfriend Anne V to pose for the cameras.

Best Monet (cute from a distance, horrific close-up): At first I really liked Katy Perry's Ellie Saab. And then I saw it close up and realized her hair is so terrible she looks like a bad girl at the 50's prom.

BEST DRESSED: Everyone probably expected Katy Perry to look a little blue on Grammy night, but the sexy singer used it to her advantage. Perry stunned in a princess-inspired gown by Ellie Saab. Record of the year and solo performance nominee Katy Perry.

Worst Use of Denim: Rick Ross and Busta Ryhmes thought they were going to the club, and not the Grammy's. 

WORST DRESSED: Rapper Rick Ross took casual to a whole new level with his relaxed Grammy look. Did his grandmother make that sweater? 
WORST DRESSED: Busta Rhymes, is that a bullet proof vest? Or were you afraid LA would be a bit chilly on Grammy night?

Double Winner - Best Mullet and Best Timberlands at an Award Show: Based entirely on this outfit and haircut, I am guessing that Robyn chose this moment to come out of the closet. She is leaving no secrets behind by letting her lady bits hang out while a waterfall of wrinkled satin oozes from her fanny. Her platform Timerberlands do nothing to elongate her legs, but something tells me that was not her goal. And, is that a single earring dangling off the top of her ear? Seriously, I have to look away. This is too much for me.

WORST DRESSED: There's only one word for Robyn's mullet dress and platform workboot combination outfit - yikes!

Best Doppleganger: Taylor Swift must have stolen Nicole Kidman's stylist. Only problem is, Nicole is double her age, and this dress would have been appropriate on her. Taylor, you're young. You can wear anything and have fun with it, why would you pick an Aussie's cast-offs?

BEST DRESSED: In her usual elegant manner, Taylor Swift sparkled in her tasteful, yet sexy, Zuhair Murad gown.

Best Use of a Woman's Power Suit: My nemesis (more on that in the weeks to come), Jason Aldean looked stupid with his ugly suit, bad hat, and ridiculous facial hair. Are those boot cut suit pants or did he accidentally enter the women's section at Express? Yep, he must be wearing women's clothing, because that is the only reason why you wouldn't be able to button your shirt.

Country singer Jason Aldean rocks his usual cowboy hat on the red carpet.

Best Victory Dance: I think this is pretty cute. New York Giants Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham back bump in chic suits.

Super Bowl champs Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham of the New York Giants hit the red carpet ...

Biggest Shocker: I never thought I would say this, but I actually like Paris Hilton's dress. I am pretty sure the center panel is probably sheer and she forgot her undies, but from this angle, it isn't bad. I like the belt and her hair a lot. (I hope you packed a parka, because I think Hell just froze over)

Where there's a red carpet, there's Paris Hilton.

Worst Unknown Artist: It's a tie between Nadeea and Bonnie McKee. Both of whom I have zero idea of who they are. Nadeea looks like she is wearing a black version of the horrific Pnina Tornai dress that trashy girls always like on "Say Yes To The Dress". While Bonnie McKee has a force field blossoming in daffodils around her pelvis. It's very superhero with the ribbons on the shoulder. She should keep this outfit locked up until after dark.

Well that's one way to try and get noticed, Nadeea. 
Someone needs to stop Bonnie McKee from ever wearing anything like this again.

Worst Hot to Not Transformation: Val Kilmer, now we know why you were nominated for "Best Spoken Word". You really do have a face for radio.
 Best spoken word album nominee and actor Val Kilmer

Congratulations to Bon Iver! Much deserved.

1 comment:

  1. I love your assessments. Right on the money!