First off, I'd like to dedicate this post to Whitney Houston. RIP Whit. Your 80's dance moves and pop perfection will continue to be an inspiration in my life.
The Grammy's are a hard award show to critique fashion-wise. Most of the people are trying so hard to be edgy, the country stars are always too rhinestone-encrusted, and then there are always the Lady Gagas and Nicki Minajs who wear a costume and call it fashion. This year when going through the looks, I noticed more Victoria's Secret models and C-List actors than musicians at this event. Did everyone finally realize that the Grammy's are a waste of time?
The Best Dressed: Gentlemen, take a card from Booker T's deck. THIS is how Grammy fashion is done.
Best Hair/Makeup/Accessories: Rihanna looked beachy and sexy in Armani. Yes, the plunge is trying too hard, but she manages to pull it off. I like that her hair and accessories are relaxed and the skirt is long - and doesn't have a Lea Michelle slit up to her lady bits.
Best Backside: Carrie Underwood in Gomez-Gracia is pretty enough. It's a little too mature for her from the front, and but the back has all the party I need.
Shock and Awe: Some stars wear their costumes just for the media attention. Nicki Minaj brought her boyfriend, John Paul. It was a most blessed event.
Worst Use of a Slip: Looks like Jean Paul Gaultier was too busy hurling racial slurs to finish the lining on Fergie's orange atrocity. If my underwear was showing, I would have picked something prettier than SPANX.
The Good, the Bad, and the Naked: Adam Levine slammed the limo door on model Model Anne V's dress and ripped half of it off. She figured she had great legs and could pull it off, but the rest of us beg to differ. At least her man looked dapper - a little board room , but it is better than jeans...
Best Monet (cute from a distance, horrific close-up): At first I really liked Katy Perry's Ellie Saab. And then I saw it close up and realized her hair is so terrible she looks like a bad girl at the 50's prom.
Worst Use of Denim: Rick Ross and Busta Ryhmes thought they were going to the club, and not the Grammy's.
Double Winner - Best Mullet and Best Timberlands at an Award Show: Based entirely on this outfit and haircut, I am guessing that Robyn chose this moment to come out of the closet. She is leaving no secrets behind by letting her lady bits hang out while a waterfall of wrinkled satin oozes from her fanny. Her platform Timerberlands do nothing to elongate her legs, but something tells me that was not her goal. And, is that a single earring dangling off the top of her ear? Seriously, I have to look away. This is too much for me.
Best Doppleganger: Taylor Swift must have stolen Nicole Kidman's stylist. Only problem is, Nicole is double her age, and this dress would have been appropriate on her. Taylor, you're young. You can wear anything and have fun with it, why would you pick an Aussie's cast-offs?
Best Use of a Woman's Power Suit: My nemesis (more on that in the weeks to come), Jason Aldean looked stupid with his ugly suit, bad hat, and ridiculous facial hair. Are those boot cut suit pants or did he accidentally enter the women's section at Express? Yep, he must be wearing women's clothing, because that is the only reason why you wouldn't be able to button your shirt.
Best Victory Dance: I think this is pretty cute. New York Giants Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham back bump in chic suits.
Biggest Shocker: I never thought I would say this, but I actually like Paris Hilton's dress. I am pretty sure the center panel is probably sheer and she forgot her undies, but from this angle, it isn't bad. I like the belt and her hair a lot. (I hope you packed a parka, because I think Hell just froze over)
Worst Unknown Artist: It's a tie between Nadeea and Bonnie McKee. Both of whom I have zero idea of who they are. Nadeea looks like she is wearing a black version of the horrific Pnina Tornai dress that trashy girls always like on "Say Yes To The Dress". While Bonnie McKee has a force field blossoming in daffodils around her pelvis. It's very superhero with the ribbons on the shoulder. She should keep this outfit locked up until after dark.
Worst Hot to Not Transformation: Val Kilmer, now we know why you were nominated for "Best Spoken Word". You really do have a face for radio.
Congratulations to Bon Iver! Much deserved.