Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Bear Down

Last weekend, Mr. Fonty and I went back to my college stomping grounds, Tucson, AZ, for a weekend getaway. He had a band playing in town, and I had not been back since I graduated, which is shocking. 
It could not have been a more perfect weekend. Driving into town, I had butterflies of anticipation. 
Living in Athens, another college town, even in the 5 years I have been here, so much has changed, but Tucson, aside from new student dorms and a bustling downtown, has remained almost exactly as I remembered it. I was expecting to be sad at coming back to a city I didn't recognize, but that was not the case at all. It was as if time stopped 10 years ago, which was a welcome surprise for my reminiscing heart. 
Mr. Fonty was coming in from Boulder. I picked him up at the airport, and we headed straight for one of my hang over favorites, East Coast Subs. I can't tell you how many meat and cheese laden sandwiches and baskets of fries my girlfriends and I consumed at this place over the years. It's disgusting, but in the best possible way. East Coast has changed locations, but the new one (especially the bathrooms) feel like it has always been there. 
From East Coast, we cruised campus, making a pit stop by my old sorority house, Alpha Phi. It is as perfect and classically Arizona as I remember it. #prettiesthouseontheblock
 Then I took George to campus...
Back side of Old Main

The Mall

Old Main
 After walking around campus, we earned some beers on University Ave. First stop Frog N Firkin, then Gentle Ben's for Blonde Ales in honor of Katie K.

 While at Ben's, we spotted a typical T-Loc. That would be a cat in his Baby Bjorn. Meeeeeeow!
 After getting good and buzzed on cold brews, we checked into our hotel, The Arizona Inn. This place is so magical. I remember coming for brunch, walking around or visiting when someone's parents were in town, but to stay here is like being transported. It was such a retreat from the city. Every afternoon at 5, there is an ice cream social by the pool. We timed our arrival perfectly.
 The grounds are impeccable. I could wander through this place all day long.


 When I was in school, downtown Tucson basically consisted of Hotel/Club Congress, The Rialto, and blacked out late night meals at The Grill. This is certainly not the case now. There are tons of new restaurants, breweries, and bars. We got drinks at Hotel Congress, and enjoyed the incredible evening weather.

Phoenix's  Pizzeria Bianco, which my brother said changed his life, opened a week earlier in Tucson, so we put our name down for the 2.5 hour wait, and wandered the city until it was time to eat. We popped into HUB which is a brewery and creamery - how dreamy! But we both agreed the place smelled like a cheap sushi restaurant, and didn't have a very good hangout vibe. We then went to Playground, which obviously becomes a super cheesy night club after 10, but in the early evening, the rooftop deck was perfect for taking in a sunset. And before we knew it, it was time to eat.
It was worth the wait. I had the Rosa - Parmesan, rosemary, pistachio and onions. 
 The main reason we were there was to see New Madrid. They are on an extensive west coast tour. They played at one of Tucson's art gallery turned music venue spaces. I had been to an exact replica of the space 10 years earlier. It was like entering a weird dreamlike memory. It took me about 30 minutes into the set to figure out when and why I had been there before.
It couldn't be a trip to Tucson without  hitting up the old standby, Dirtbags. It is after all, "a part of growing up". The sorority girls had just arrived in town, so George got a taste of U of A co-eds, and decided that if he has a daughter she will not be allowed to be a desert woman. Fair enough.
 With a hangover (for me), we hiked a bit of Sabino Canyon the next morning. It was such a gorgeous day.



 I earned my Brad's Beef from Beyond Bread. This might be the one food item I miss the most. Grilled sandwich with: roast beef, sharp cheddar, green chilies, onions, and russian dressing. Heaven between two slices.
Then after a day spent reading and rejuvenating by the Arizona Inn pool, we hit up The Shanty. The patio is still as quaint as ever.
 Why so shy?
 Then we headed back downtown for dinner and more drinks.


It was such a perfect trip. I am still riding a nostalgia high. It was so fun to be back in a place where I couldn't even picture where I would be a day after graduation, let alone 10 years later. Now I live in a city I probably had never heard of, and am married to someone I couldn't have imagined. Life is funny that way. Thanks, Tucson. I love ya! Until next time...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Jean Pool

HELLO! Long time no write. I've been a combination of out of town and lazy. The perfect storm for abandoning a blog. But, of all the things to inspire me to write again, it was jean cut-offs that brought me back from the dead. 
Summer is still in full swing in the south, but a "cold front" is moving through this week, bringing our nightly lows into the high 60's. Anything below 73 is considered long sleeve weather to me, so here is how I will be taking my cutoffs from scorching summer to a feels like fall evening. 
cut offs



Tibi top
theoutnet.com


Rails mint top
intermixonline.com


Madewell chambray top
madewell.com


Short sleeve tee
factory.jcrew.com


Mango jacket
mango.com


Wallis ponte jacket
wallisfashion.com


Mango jacket
mango.com



J Brand ripped shorts
boutique1.com



Jenni Kayne crocs flat
shoplesnouvelles.com



Sunday, June 15, 2014

Infertile Ground: What Not to Say to Your Friend Facing Infertility

Well, our first round of IVF didn't work. The route we chose was the lengthy and expensive option that included genetic testing and had a 5% chance of miscarriage, so of course, I miscarried. Where was this ability to be in the tiny percentage when I was applying to colleges?!? As our "journey" continues, it got me thinking about all the people around us. I am lucky to have so many supportive and loving friends and family whether they understand what I am dealing with or not. I have never felt more surrounded by love. My friends and family have been wonderful, but I thought I would share a list of What Not to Say. I've heard most of these at least once, and their effect varies depending on which part of the emotional roller coaster I am riding. 
infertility
"It is amazing how many people you hear of that are dealing with infertility!" Yes, and guess what is it is even more amazing, how many people have no trouble at all getting pregnant. Having lived in 5 cities since I was 18, I have made a lot of female friends. Out of all of those women, I have 3 that I talk to about infertility issues and about 43 baby announcements on my bulletin board. You do the math. Usually the above line is coupled with my next favorite comment...
"My sister's best friend's husband's cousin tried to have a baby for 4 years, and the minute they stopped trying, she got pregnant." Do you remember the Urban Relationship Myth episode of Sex & the City? This is the infertility equivalent. Unless your sister's best friend's husband's cousin hired a surrogate who is pregnant with quadruplets and she simultaneously became pregnant with identical twins, I don't really care. It's better to listen to your friend's story than trying to relate to her by grasping at some distant person's misfortune.
"Just Relax!" I give any woman going through infertility a free pass to punch you in the face when you say this. True Story: I am at a Quest Diagnostics having 14, yes 14, vials of blood drawn (coupled with it being 4:00 pm, and I was not allowed to eat all day), and the nurse starts telling me how if I "Just relax", I will get pregnant right away. She sees it happen all the time. Really, Latwana? You think that I can relax when I am having 14 vials of blood taken from my veins? It's really easy to relax when I am sticking needles in my stomach each night or having ultrasounds and bloodwork every other day - an hour from my house. I tried relaxing, and I still miscarried, so now I am trying science. 
"I just know this is going to happen to me too." I haven't done anything to cause this. I don't want to be some cautionary tale. Yes, you may have trouble getting pregnant, but chances are you won't. Don't make what I am going through a chance to harp on some future hypothetical medical issue of yours. 
"It will happen when the time is right." You're right. I am a 32 year old, financially stable woman in a loving marriage who owns a home in a city filled with young children. The time is definitely wrong for me. I should have aimed to be a subject on 16 and Pregnant. 
"It's God's will." People love to bring God into infertility. By doing so, you are telling me that God doesn't want me to have a child. Gee, thanks. I will be sure to tell you "It's God's will" the next time you complain about your child getting the flu or an ear infection. And, don't worry "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle". 
"What I wouldn't give to have your freedom/ability to sleep in/ so much free time." Really? Would you give up your adorable children? I didn't think so. I have to say, this process has forced me to gain an appreciation of our pre-child life, and I am very thankful for that. We take full advantage of being a footless and fancy free family of 2 +Ryman. Mr. Fonty and I do a ton of traveling, and have really kicked it up a notch, because we keep thinking "this could be our last chance". However, would I give up our upcoming trip to Europe for a bun in the oven? In a heart beat. This topic for me is all about your delivery. There is talking about how we enjoy our child-free life and coming at it from a condescending "you don't understand my parenting problems" angle. Your complaints about not sleeping are best saved for your friends that are also not sleeping. I'll be too busy enjoying a lazy, crayon free brunch. 
"It could be worse..." Would you say this to a cancer patient? "It could be worse, you could have AIDS too." Infertility is all encompassing. Every day is filled with monitoring your body, shots, patches, vitamins, you name it. When putting this much effort, not to mention, money into something, if it doesn't work, it is devastating. Imagine you are assigned a project at work. You work night and day for 3 months to get ready. It's all you think about for months. The day comes for your big presentation, and you think you nail it. You go home, relax, and 2 weeks later, your boss calls you in, and says you did a great job on your presentation, but unfortunately, you are fired. That's what a failed IVF cycle feels like. But, it could be worse... Your car could break down on the way home from the job you just lost. 
(After a miscarriage) "At least you know you can get pregnant." For some women, yes, this is a good sign, but for a lot of other women, like myself, getting pregnant isn't the issue. You never know what someone is dealing with, so avoid getting medical. 
"Why don't you just adopt?" This one sort of amazing me. It is so flippantly thrown around like adopting is such an easy process on it's own. Adoption is a big deal. It's a child, not a puppy, folks.  

I don't want to make anyone feel like there is no right thing to say to a friend dealing with infertility. If someone is coming from a place of love and caring, there isn't a wrong thing to say. Most of the above comments come from self-righteousness and verbal diarrhea. Remember that sometimes all a person needs is someone to listen and use my mom's favorite quote, "This is the shits", because I tell you friends, it is in the fact The Shits. 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Splurge vs. Steal: All White Now

I am declaring this summer, the summer of the white blazer. 
I actually pulled a white blazer from a bag awaiting it's consignment destiny when I saw all these impossibly chic women looking fresh and hip in my castoff from my former working girl days. There isn't even the tiniest hint of late 90's cubicle in any of these blazers.  
Every now and again I find the Steal side more lust-worthy than the Splurge items. This is one of those times. That Yosemite tee and neon bag are ordered and en route to my house... 

blazers



Burberry white t shirt
net-a-porter.com




Wallis winter white blazer
wallisfashion.com




AlaĆÆa alaia sandals
net-a-porter.com


Steve Madden gladiator sandals
lordandtaylor.com


Valentino leather handbag
net-a-porter.com


Crossbody handbag
target.com


Thierry Lasry sunglasses
$550 - net-a-porter.com


White sunglasses
shadesdaddy.com

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Cut It Out

Cut outs on dresses have come a long (and conservative) way from the days of this: 
This summer, dare to bare with flattering, strategically placed cut outs to highlight your assets, not your bare ass. 
cut it out



Alice Olivia pink dress
aliceandolivia.com




STELLA McCARTNEY red dress
$5,155 - brownsfashion.com


Side cut dress
ustrendy.com



Roksanda Ilincic brown dress
matchesfashion.com


Sea New York cut out dress
$550 - oxygenboutique.com


Elle Sasson cut out dress
intermixonline.com


Ark Co brown skirt
piperlime.gap.com